Wednesday, October 24, 2007

All I can say at the mo is "Drama drama drama!"

7:48 PM
mmm... yummy

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I've been thinking about how I've been living life lately, because something didn't feel quite right, like something is missing y'know? Then I thought to myself, when was the last time i thought about God? Sure, I've started going for dance, but I wasn't there 100% spiritually, i was merely going through the movements, and it wasn't enough.

So I've found my missing thing - God.

It's strange how I much i cannot do without Him in my life. Well, it isn't meant to be strange i guess. It's what we were created for right? To have that relationship with Him, and worship Him with everything that we do. To be so dependent on Him that to leave Him is so hard. (Well, i s'pose it can be quite easy for some) Yet, I still stray. Time and time again I've disappointed Him, and time and time again I run back to Him in tears and apologies and a renewed determination to stay faithful.

I guess this time, I've been pushing God away because I cannot bear to sacrifice my time. I can't seem to give it up for Him yet, not completely. I'm too scared, too selfish to do so. Some of you might not know this yet, but I've made to decision to dance for Him. Yeah, I return to the dance ministry. However, aunty Patsy has made me realise that dance is a commitment of time. How i wish i lived in the past, where i would have had a LOT of it. But I'm only 17! It's bad enough that I have JC to deal with =( I want my slacking time, my shopping time, my being with friends time, time for me me ME! Selfish I know, but I'm still young! Why can't I live a little bit more first?? Then devote the rest of my life later. =l

Though, now i know how it feels to live without God (once again) and I DON'T LIKE IT!!! =((( It's awful. I feel sooo.... alone. The empty missing feeling is such a not nice thing to feel please. So I'm doing it, I'm going to return to living for God. But I know it's not going to be easy. God knows how long it took for me to finally be on regular QT. =S Nevertheless, I AM DETERMINED. At least I'm living with some purpose in my life, though it means I'll have to give up on a lot of things, I'm sure. Oh well, I'll get busy one day, eventually. Hah.

This reminds me of the book Evan gave me, a diary series of this girl. I've forgotten her name though. But she has spoken of this kinda situation. Actually, I don't think she encountered this just once. I guess we all are like that. It just amazes me how merciful God is, and the amount of love He has for us.

I'm sorry Lord, for ignoring You. It sucks not having You around. I've decided, I want to give my all for You. Help me to make time for You Lord, to remember the joy in serving You. Thank You for Your neverending love. In Jesus' name, Amen.

9:24 PM
mmm... yummy

Friday, October 12, 2007

Finally got my promos results, and i was right, after all. It sorta was worse than my mid-years. All my H2 deproved except for Lit which maintained it's E. -.- My overall points for promos improved by 1.5 points though, because my H1 subjects actually improved! HAH. Thanks Charmaine for forcing me to do Math. HOHO. I improved by one grade and got S, it's still something right? So oh well, I'm moving on to next year for sure, but i've got to work on my subjects during the holidays i suppose.

However, it's quite depressing as a class because it looks like we won't be able to be together next year. =S I'm really going to miss this class, although i know i don't exactly know many of them on a deeper level. It's still.... I don't know, 1A01 - my class, my classmates. Will be weird if i don't see them around next year. Oh well, shall see how it is next year. I wish them all the best with whatever path they want to take. =)

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Dad's finally back from retreat! Looks like he's going to be ordained in early November. Hah. He doesn't seem to remember the date accurately though -.- Daddy's really getting old man! haha. Mum says we're going to be up there with him to be prayed for, so... new clothes! new clothes! Hoho. Don't know why, but I've been in a shopping mood these days. Also with cravings for cheese prata, sushi, and chilli crab! Odd combination, i know. What to do, I'm like that. Ahha.

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I think I'm quite adapted to staying at Toa Payoh already. Man, it's going to be troublesome to move again to Tampines, where I'd have to get used to things again. It didn't really take me long though, so maybe it'll be ok? Then again, I've been to Toa Payoh before when i was a weeee one, and quite often then. That might be why I've adjusted pretty quickly. Still, it feels kinda far from everyone. The East is still the best. =)

Right, that's all i have for today. Toodles~!

10:09 PM
mmm... yummy

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Shopped today!
Met Lionel at about 11am
to look for the class Oct babies prezzies
at Plaza Sing.
Man oh man.
Whoever said homemade gifts are cheaper,
is talking NONSENSE i tell you.
Managed to pull in Steph and Mai though.
So the funding problem is solved! Yay =)

Had Ba Chor Mee for lunch,
and i'm finally sick of it!
Haha. Honestly man,
been eating that quite a few times
from last or last last week? =S
Don't know why also.
Now i have cheese prata craving. Hah.
Anybody wanna eat prata with me?
Also craving for sushi and chilli crab,
but nevermind. Money needs to be saved.

At about 3+pm, i met Jean.
Got a chance to see her boyfriend too.
Smiled at him to say hi,
BUT HE DAO ME.
Whaaaattt only~!
Jean ah Jean!
WHY YOU LET HIM BE SO UNFRIENDLY DE.
Aiiyo, boy ah,
i know Jean is the only girl
worth looking at right now (for you),
but at least say hi larrr...
Nevermind, they can be the DAO COUPLE.
perfect for each other then. hah

And Jean my dear girl,
don't fret too much over the results k.
What's done is done.
Just work harder from now on,
jia you!
The same goes for Fiona.
Much love to you girls.

I'm quite excited about Friday already.
Gah! Why sr so slow in giving back results.

Sorry En that i didn't go to the cc today!
Ahha. Next time bah, next time.
Heh heh.
Oh well, shall go off liao.
Toodles~

6:13 PM
mmm... yummy

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

It's finally over! The exams and the moving out... This is so surreal man. haha! Though i must admit, staying at toa paoh is a bit troublesome, since it's far from the East, where i can hang out and etc. but at least it's only about a 25 min bus ride to school! waaahaa~ unlike sister's, cos she studies at TJC, the poor thing.

Jia En is finally my god sis! hahaha! She got baptised on Friday~ Woot. Also got a chance to see Daph open her present. XD hilarious man. HAH.

Well, one thing to think about this week. Aunty Patsy wants to push me into leadership and teaching dance, while developing my skills. I remember her saying something like taking me out of Poiema to groom me. I'm praying about that this week, but it kinda feels too much for me. I mean, i just returned to dancing! It's quite scary to take up such a commitment at this age, i wanna have time to play and chilll on Saturdays. Then again, isn't it about the sacrifice? To do this for God, not for me.
Aiiya, i don't know lar. All i can say is i really think this is the area i'm called into. So i s'pose i should just take that jump?

Another thing is exam results. Quite scary because i'll be getting them back on Friday! GAH. Excited and nervous at the same time. It's like, this is more important than O levels was! Haha. Maybe because it is? Heh. I'll get promoted most likely, quite confident about that, but i'm more interested in doing well. Ahha. So shall see how on Friday. I get this feeling that i'll do worse than mid yrs, but i'm leaving it to God..

Oh well, that's all i have for today. So toodles~

4:04 PM
mmm... yummy

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I'm back! Haha.
Taking a lunch break at Char's house.
Oh man oh man,
studying SEA is so sian.
I CAN'T STAND IT!
=S
Cold War is so much better,
more straightforward

p.s: I THINK I'M A GOOD HOST :D hahahahaha.

yeah char, veh good host. haha.
and the dad's cooking is the love =)
mmmmmm~
had salmon and fried egg with oyster
last night for dinner at char's too!
should study at her place more often, hoho
X)

huh, and i was chatting with En for a short while,
well, disturbing her is more like it. =b
don't know if she knows that it's me or Char
HAHA!
well, after reading it she'll know for sure!
sorry En! but i really bored of hist =))

i can't wait for FRIDAY!!! haha
going to do some much needed retail therapy
with Yanni and Aqidah, must rmb to take photos man!
though mum thinks it's a really bad time to shop,
since we're moving on Mon ler.
GAH!

I can't believe it's really happening,
we're really moving house~!
quite exciting designing the house,
except i think sis and i have no idea exactly
what we want for our room.
hah.
oh wells, can think about such things after FRIDAY
cos there'll more time then.

meh, it's back to studying again then..
maybe i should do lit now.
aiiyar, irritating.
i gots mood for lit, but
hist is tomorrow.
bleh.
ah well,
toodles~ =)

1:55 PM
mmm... yummy